Sort of fitting, I suppose, that since my last blog was about Credit Card Fraud, that this one should be about the fraud that I often feel like. I constantly feel like I am not as good as people tell me I am, that I cannot possibly live up to their (or my own) expectations. Today that phenomenon hit a real note with me, as I dropped the ball on the new student orientation at my school. The students were all taken care of, and got the essentials out of everything that they needed, but there were a lot of little details along the way that I could have, or felt I should have, taken care of to smooth things out. A few details, but when added all together they made a real mess, at least to my perception and (from the frustrated reactions of coworkers) others as well.
I've felt for months now, ever since I took this new position, that I am a fraud, that I got the position not by merit, but by luck, or by fooling others into believing that I am more capable than I am. I mentioned this to my dad this evening, and he pointed out that the feeling is common, and that it is well documented. Sure enough, the phenomenon is fairly well documented, and is known as "Impostor Syndrome" or "Impostor Phenomenon." Only a few short weeks ago, a friend of mine pointed out the symptoms to me, and finally, thanks to my dad, I was able to put a name to the symptoms that I've been struggling with for, literally, years.
Sad to say that there doesn't seem to be any quick fix from those who have identified the phenomenon- a very modern (American?) hope. In any case, I hope that I can finally begin to wrestle with and overcome it, maybe to be the success that I know I can, if I would only allow myself to be.
"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me." - Stuart Smalley
For more information on Impostor Syndrome, check out these sites:
http://www.impostersyndrome.com/
http://www.counseling.caltech.edu/articles/The%20Imposter%20Syndrome.htm
http://talentdevelop.com/impostor.html
1 comment:
Ok, so a comment. This Impostor Syndrome you refer to is, I think, closely related to buyers remorse. It is the second guessing of whether we are, in fact, the best choice of others for the job. I suspect that it is in our own self interest to have this notion when first starting a job as it likely drives us to overcome learning curves and produce better output in order to preserve said new-found job.
If after a significant amount of time, you do not have a feeling that you are capable of meeting the job requirements, then you may have a point. Otherwise, I say it is a normal aspect of life. Especially if you are one of those who is more likely to feel lucky rather than deserving of the good things that happen in life.
My somewhat $.02 worth... :-)
Post a Comment