Pros and Cons

I saw something at work today that just turned my stomach. This old guy- 60ish, grey hair and moustache, slight accent (British?), not what I think anyone would consider handsome- came into the store with an escort. Young, maybe 5’2”, pretty, perky, blonde- a little too made up. She seemed sweet, though, when we talked briefly about the Damzl Fuel drink we sell that she enjoys but can never find anywhere.

(As an aside, it sells like crap in my store.)

The thought of this pretty thing coupled with this hairy, ogrish older perv just made me sick. Still does.

She wasn’t his granddaughter or anything like that- I’m certain. I had seen this guy in the store on a previous occasion, that time in the company of a brunette pornstar I recognized. Acquainted with her body of work, so to speak.

Now, despite being in So Cal, Long Beach is still pretty far from the porn capital of Chatsworth, much less Los Angeles, so I was fairly certain the pornstar girl wasn’t just in town visiting an older relative. Especially when the guy made a ribald remark to her about using the licorice rope he was holding as a whip. Complete with demonstration. She looked nearly as uncomfortable as I felt. I tried not to compound her unease by staring and letting on that I recognized her.

For some reason, though, the pornstar and the old perv didn’t unnerve me quite as completely as the young blonde and the dirty old John did. I did think it somewhat odd that the pornstar might be resorting to escorting (though I am given to understand that even the porn industry has been hit hard by the economic downturn in the country). Still, I suppose it was more the association of her porn background with the notion of “sex for sale”, as opposed to the facelessness of the blonde that made the difference to me.

In one of life’s little ironies, I was just discussing porn and the damage it can do with a friend a few days prior. She was remarking on how terrible an effect it can have on perceptions of the female body – both to women and to men’s expectations of what they should look like. For my part, while I agree that porn is pretty degrading in its depiction of women, I shy from giving too much credit to the industry’s ability to dictate how people regard sex and women. To me it’s just as slippery a slope as saying that video games and television cause violent behavior. There are always other factors involved, and it’s foolish- in my mind- to try and pin the blame solely on one thing, as if rectifying that will somehow serve as a panacea for your social ill of the day. Foolish and unrealistic.

Still, though, I can’t deny a correlation. Not a one-to-one causality, but a connection all the same. Aside from the aforementioned geezer and his objectification of women via use of escort services (and I could probably speculate for pages on the foundations of that urge), my friend had some other interesting comparisons to make to me.

She talked a little bit about how she could tell the guys who’d gotten all of their sex advice from watching porn by the way they behaved in bed. “Tired of guys wanting to do the Jackhammer,” I believe was how she put it. We joked a bit about the silliness of porn embalmed guys in today’s society, but I really wondered at the absurdity of it all.

I’m not very sexually experienced, but even to me, it seems common sense should dictate that most porn sex is ill-suited to real world applications. Unless you’re trying to get a camera in there, most of those positions are at the very least awkward, and more likely are downright painful and uncomfortable- especially to the women involved. Maybe pornos need disclaimers like you find in stunt shows and deadly magic acts- “These performances are for entertainment purposes only, and are performed by professionals. Do not attempt these positions at home?”

Ultimately, I imagine it is the rescuer complex in me that was most touched by the thought of that pretty girl selling herself to that old guy. I am a bit awkward when it comes to sex- discussing it, having it- and I know that my values aren’t quite in step with the times. Add to that, the girls in question was clearly consenting and cognizant of the choice she was making (and presumably of legal age). Yet still I can’t help but feel for someone engaging in sex for money. It seems like such an intimate thing to share, even in spite of more relaxed values of the day. I just wanted to tell the girl she is a beautiful person and… what… save her from herself, maybe?

I just can’t quite wrap my head around feeling such a need for money that you’d be willing to do almost anything to get it. Then again, I guess we all prostitute ourselves to one degree or another, don’t we? Maybe it is a slippery slope after all.